| Hello Friends |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|11:38 pm] |
I'm mainly posting to declare my love for the new and lovely word, saddlebacking. That's right, saddlebacking. I am pleased to say that although I have never and sadly will never saddleback myself, I'm glad it is out there for all the weird sex-a-phobes.
To enjoy this new word and spread it around, like Rick Warren does with butter on everything, please go to saddlebacking.com or the stranger.com for the full story.
I know it will be kind of hard to work into every day conversations, but I am willing to give it a good faith effort. |
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| Fiasco! |
[Nov. 26th, 2008|12:32 pm] |
So far the plan is not going well. We were supposed to be taking a nice vacation up in the mountains for thanksgiving, so we could kick back and relax (Adam, Hopkins and I). We were going to go after I got out of work today at around 2. The cats would stay home, since they are difficult to travel with and things were going to be great. Until this happened:

It rained all night and our bedroom flooded. The fence to our porch does not allow drainage, so our bedroom became drainage. We had like an inch of water in half of the room. This meant maintenance had be called which meant that our cats (our fugitive cats) had to be hidden from sight. All morning we played "hide the cats" while people came in and out. Finally we smuggled them down to our car and we found them a nice place to stay while we're gone, but it has made for a frantic day to be sure. I had to take the day off, no easy feat for a teacher. The sub unit was down most of the night so I had to get up at 5am to call for a sub, which I doubt I got. I had to write a subplan and I had to come up with some work for the kids to do. I had to drop this all off to a teacher friend of mine at 7 this morning.
Boo! teaching! boo! LA! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2008|10:12 pm] |
Working on top secret project, thus posting about it on top secret live journal. Fun fact: Only y'all even know I have a live journal. That makes it very private. I am writing a young adult book. Hopefully I will not give up half-way through. The training regiment has gone well and although I am exploring new things to be obsessed about I actually got a bright idea. Those Twilight books, despite my oddly warm feelings for them, are a bunch of tosh. I could do so much better than that! So why sit by and let a mormon house wife do all the cleaning up on these kids when I myself could be doing so, with an infinitely more charming and less morally bankrupt product? Why indeed! I have begun phase one of the plan which pretty much consists of me writing and then editing a book intended for young readers. Even if it never does anything it certainly counts as a way to pass the time. I can be all abs and verbs.
My book will be decidedly sci-fi in nature. Vampires are a bunch of whiners.
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| To train or not to train. |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|08:49 pm] |
Control freaks need to control. I am a control freak, therefore I need to control. That there is some sound logic. I have decided that along with the many excellent suggestions I have received to fill my boredom filled days I will take myself and make me chiseled out of granite. I think that would placate the urge to take control of my life back over. It is hard to keep this urge strong when the urge for cake is so strong too. What to do? I was also considering taking up smoking again, however this too is bad for a two hour a day training regiment.
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| Free at last... But at what cost? |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|06:06 pm] |
I am free of the scourge of my last post. The question becomes: now what? It is clearly illustrated by my slumming it that I am at the Alamo of escapism. I feel like I have burned through everything worth being addicted to: six feet, Dexter, Dark Place, Transmet, Y, Deadwood, Lost (til it's off break), Kevin Smith movies, the british Office, Arrested Development, The Venture Brothers, Lord of the rings (years ago)... and the list goes on. I love things that are long and engrossing where you care if the characters so much as sneeze. I know not what to do with my time without these things.
Ideas? What would you read/watch again for the first time? I'm looking to fall in love here people...
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| I can't stop.... |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|10:45 am] |
I started reading the Twilight series, to see if it would be a good recommendation for my students (I don't like to steer them to books that are way too difficult, it frustrates them). I figured I would read a chapter or two and then put it in my class library and wait for it to be stolen, which all my books are eventually. To my horror/delight I actually liked the book. It was uber nostalgic to me because I was a youth that loved her some Ann Rice, although these vampires are infinitely more likable then those whining, brooding cry babies were. I read Twilight in 2 days and yesterday I read New Moon. All of it. This is highly escapist, I know. I did very little work and I plan walking to borders during my lunch to pick up Eclipse and avoid further work this afternoon (don't worry, I'm not teaching we're supposed to be doing some morale building thing.
Sigh.

I wish I could always be reading... |
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| A question for you all! |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|10:56 am] |
Due to an error I made in timing I have to sit our next year before attending law school. (If I wanted to go to law school next year I needed to have taken the LSAT last June. boo!) So that makes me stuck. I will be taking the LSAT this May and that will take care of that, but then I have to apply to many a law school and if I get accepted it is still many moons until the beginning of the academic year. There in lays the question. What to do? I will have at my disposal a masters in special education from loyola marymount university, also my BA in Philosophy and Political Science from EMU. I know I don't want to sit at my current job for another year, as we are only 2 months into this year and I already want to quit.
I've been looking at this add on craigslist for a service like JET, but in South Korea. Like JET it is one year long and includes room and board. It looks oddly tempting. Spending a year away from the country would be great!

But that could get ugly real fast. I know no Korean, I would be in a studio with Adam, not own a car and be unable to access the train system. It would be great to be in a "get bilingual or else" environment but I can see the dangers to that too.
I like the idea of becoming bilingual.
Indecisiveness.
Most of all I want to go back to being happy next year. I have spent the last year and a half counting all the days of my life as they die and I don't ever want to do that again.
SO the QUESTION: What would you all do if you were me here? Any ideas/programs you think would be fun/valuable? Should I just teach somewhere else for a year or sub? Should I begin a sharecropping operation?
help me out here!
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| Since you all said you didn't mind... |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|07:59 pm] |
Man I can not say it enough, teaching sucks. (At here and under the conditions that I work in). The kids hate you and life. Anytime you try to do something fun/nice you get heckled. It is like it's always midnight at the apollo and all you can tell are knock-knock jokes. All of these are bad things. I was gone two days for a training I get back and find out that the sub ignored my lesson plans and instead watched jaws with the kids. I shit you not. Mother fucking Jaws. I moved classrooms today, and I lost 4 of my good kids because a teacher that can't get fired is not allowed to have kids that cause trouble since he is incapable of handling them. Lame.
Is Denny's hiring?

My day is a lot like this except they won't give us guns. It's pretty obvious to me why. |
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| Exciting News Everyone! |
[Nov. 9th, 2008|10:04 pm] |
I will not be spending the coming holiday with my chump relatives or all the LA chumps, or any chumps at all!

We will instead of the above be going to a lovely suit at big bear lake just Adam and I (and the dog...). This is exciting and will carry me through the boring soul sucking weeks to come.
Thanks to online booking and Live journal I can be happy and share said happiness in seconds flat! Hoo-ray!
thanks internets! |
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| An interesting story. |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|09:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] | My cat (artie) has begun humping my bed. Not kneeding, not settling, but hard coring it like he was in Debbie Does Dallas. Naturally, I was unnerved. He was doing it like ALL the time, but he only seemed to do it when I was on the bed. Finally, I came to my wits end when he actually humped... *sniffle sniffle* ME. Yeah, right in the belly. I still sometimes have flash backs. I started spraying hm with water and kicking him off the bed, nothing seemed to deter him. Tonight after asking him pointedly for ten or so minutes why, oh why, he persisted, I got the bright idea to look the behavior up on the INTERNET. Yes, the internet, I was in fact desperate. I found that a lot of people had reported the same thing, almost always in fixed males, older in age. It turns out it is an attention seeking behavior, he does not, thankfully, desire sexy time with me. He wants my affection though. In fact it is a symptom of cat depression. That's right, when male cats get old, they fuck to show how sad and lonely they are. Now when he starts humping, me and Adam give him attention, pet him and talk to him, and he seems better.
And the moral of the story? Maybe that older man who keeps coming on to you is just lonely and depressed. |
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| The End of Gender |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|01:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | freedom is at hand! | ] | I have begun as of not so late a new personal transformation that I hope will be transformative of the entire society and that is the radical rejection of gender. All of what that entails I will need to come to through deliberation and consideration but it means in the most simple form that I will not be allowing myself to participate in subjugating behaviors, even if I used to think they were fun. This change has been brewing in me for a long while. Every time I should happen upon some poor vagina-having wretch fasting constantly to stay thin and fretting over being "attractive" at the expense of being a full fledged human being with valid opinions and value to impart something in me whispered of the injustice of it. Every time I saw some little girl planning her wedding instead of her own life, dressing as a princess and being encouraged to play with dolls I would cringe. It is not that thinks labeled "feminine" are not with out their own value. Of course child rearing is important to the growth of society but could not that act of nurturing and rearing be better expressed as an infinitive, shared by both genders in common and no gender in particular? Imagine fathers as loving and nurturing as mothers and mothers as good provider and disciplinarians. Imagine if men and women in common could use clothes and other adornments with no distinction made as to which was to be costumed in certain ways. Imagine it all in its glory. No explaining disturbances between persons as typical of the differences in gender. That would make us have to question our genuine compatibility with other humans rather then accept such rifts as natural.
As part of this dream that I hope to achieve partially in myself and someday in my larger environment there have been some casualties already. The first on the chopping block was my high heels. These are not good for anyone, they make the simple act of walking cumbersome and are designed to raise a women's butt in such a way that allures men. I am first and foremost a person and not an object to be desired and this obvious symbol of that human to object transformation that women (a term that is in and of itself hierarchical) are subject to adhere. They had to go. Next on the list other clothing items, shirts that display breasts like decoration cakes behind a thin layer of glass, skirts of all stripe, and the last of my make-up (nail polish included). These are all designed to keep me busy and not challenging the larger systems of control.
I have also dropped the term "boyfriend" and its companion "girlfriend" from my vocabulary, although it is with great difficulty since these terms have been embedded in me over these 23 years. I now substitute the neutral and egalitarian term "partner" to describe my relations with people on an intimate basis. This is met with some confusion since my partner is a man and people equate the term with lesbianism (another example of non-hierarchical intimate relations). I don't mind this confusion because anyone who casts off the yoke of oppressive gender is immediately labeled as such and I am very comfortable with that association. I am not however impersonating a lesbian, I am distinct socially and I recognize that. I have the "benefit" of participating, by perception from the outside only, in the dominate form of sexuality. Sexuality is itself another forced binary and I am sorry to have to address it at all. Who you have sex with should not in anyway carry societal importance.
Additionally I have a new policy of not participating in any capacity in activities that are gender segregated. This is a stupid practice and it keeps women thinking that we really do have differences have societal relevance.
That's all that I can say about the experiment for now. I would welcome any questions concerns or points at anyone has concerning the ending of gender especially if you want to try it yourself. I would note that men too can give up gender by not participating the activities of domination and postures of dominance. I can fill in those sorts of things at a later date.
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| "Bad Guys" |
[Nov. 7th, 2006|10:25 am] |
Bad Guys. This was once regarded by me as a long-discarded infantile concept. When I was a child this term was the one dubbed (mainly by my mother) upon the child killers and other violent criminals I saw on the nightly news. There was another place that I would encounter this term, on the play ground, and in my little brother's action figure collection. Bad guys were the mindlessly evil characters that seemed to live for the sole purpose of making mischief for the hero. The heroes were the "good guys" characterized by their unending commitment to doing the right thing for its own sake, in the end all they ever seemed to get was the girl. Bad guys were flashy and glamorous, wildly witty often and usually fabulously wealthy. They had mountain strong holds, and near flawless weapon systems. This glamorous image did leave me a little confused by the violent criminals. I often wondered did they do have secret hide outs? One thing that all bad guys shard in common was that they were bad, bad, bad, easy to hate, but still oddly compelling. These were the 'bad guys' that I knew.
As I grew I realized that this image, riveting though it was, wasn't ever true. Pretty soon the "bad guys" started to have complicating factors. There were bad childhoods, complete with damaged parents that often molded them into the cold loveless creates that they were to become. Often there was mental illnesses that were they treated would have left these 'bad guys' totally normal and functioning individuals. The most shocking factor to me though was poverty. There were very few rich super villains, or at least they weren't bad guys that could be touched by the good guys. The super rich were only involved in bank scandals and confidence schemes, not the general hostile take over of the world. Pretty soon the more you knew about the world the more you realized that there were no such thing as bad guys at all. There were all people with motives and desires and logical systems that might not be functioning as well as one would hope. There was just no one that was intrinsically bad, just like there was no one that was fully good.
Recently however I have seem this long forgotten term everywhere. The president, the congress the service people they all assure me that all the killing, especially of civilians (650,000 to date) is worth it. We are killing bad guys with them. In fact the magic number is 30 'innocent' people to every one bad guy. Its a fact you can look it up. When they target bombs 30 people is an acceptable number of civilian casualties, its its likely you took out a bad guy with them. This accepts the notion that some people are so evil and deserving of death that to have them dead is worth nearly any cause.
Maybe I'm more grown up then the president but that just doesn't make any sense to me. They were all people, living as they felt they had to, some of the bad guys probably weren't so different from the administration or the service men. Probably just following their own orders, but by our own "goodness" we may judge them and by extension their whole society guilty and deserving of death. I'm sorry but that's just insane. |
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| hello world! |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|09:55 pm] |
This is a post specificly for Meghan.
I love you. I came for game night but no one seemed to be around and I didn't want to wake anyone, most especially you. I called. I texted. I sat in the bushed with a telescopic lense just in case. Why you no call me anymore? I just wanna hang out wit you girl! 'cause you're SOOOOO the best!
for everyone else, I love you too, however I don't REQUIIRE calls from y'all. (also as for 'the best' there can be only one, if you want to be it you'll have to challenge Meghan to some sort of epic sword battle)((resulting in one of your demises)). |
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| Cruel Fate! |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|04:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | they made the farret sad. | ] |
I was SOOOO looking forward to getting back to classes. This hope has been dashed by my oh-so-inept administration at Eastern. Yesterday the pay cutting assholes just walked right out of negotiations. They don't want to pay the teachers, but they will build a new (and VERY unnecessary) new student center and give themselves a pay increase. They charge me for every little thing, to park, for technology, for registration, for registering for a closed session, in late fees and in fees for when i pay in two payments instead of one, but they can't pay their teachers a living wage? Greed! Greed and corruption that’s all this is! And then the administration uses the students as pawns pitting them against their very instructors who will no doubt be back to teaching some time this semester. It’s underhanded. But that's Eastern's Administration for you.
I am jack’s scab begrudging heart. I want to go to class I just don’t want to support the forces of bureaucratic excess. What the hell should I do?
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| Overwhelmed by sexism |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|08:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
I've been home a bit lately, and not writing reports so I've been watching TV, a bad decision to be sure but this is what I've come up with. Commercials are the best indicator of American society because it knows a thing or two about demographics for one, they know who they are selling to and what they are selling them. And just what and how are women being sold? Why as child bearing domestic servants, that’s how. Watch TV any time day or night and watch every household cleaning commercial, who is featured pitching you the wares? It's always a woman. The usually have on wedding rings and are often talking about what a hassle it is to clean up after a husband and a hand full of kids. Now lets expand our look at commercials. If it is a product for babies, formula, diapers, the like you will get images of the children and almost always a woman (presumably their mother). In one especially troubling commercial (one for a hummer) we are told that buying a hummer is a way to quote "get your girl on" after a mother is 'dised at the slide by another mother. The Hummer restores her confidence and her ability to be a female. Gender and racism break down now. If you watch a commercial on some new drug for venereal disease of the recent HPV commercial you will always see a host of decidedly brown faces. Apparently white women don't get venereal diseases, but when the topic is bone loss for instance then they seem to be the only one urged to talk to their doctors.
It doesn't stop at commercials, go to any pharmacy or grocery store, condoms are almost always placed by the diapers and other baby effects and down the way from that tampons and other feminine care goods. I can't help but wonder if any one else sees the obvious statement as, "women are made to have sex with and produce babies". Other placement issues that have troubled me, the young adult section at Barnes and Nobel has a section obviously geared at teen girls, next to it on the shelf is the "expecting" section, stocked full with books on "the wonders of maternity" and notably devoid of any advice or how-do books for fathers.
Another thing that is high on the secret boys club check list is this fact. Almost no insurance companies cover birth control. The ones that do will only do so most of the time if the patient is proven to be taking it for "health reasons" such as the regulation of their periods. Viagra and other sex enhancing drugs of that sort for me are almost ALWAYS covered. They don't even have to prove that they actually have ED, they only have to have a prescription. Also although there have been numerous cases of pharmacists denying women contraceptives that aren't married there has not been one documented case of a pharmacist pulling this same move on an unmarried man.
The bottom line is that all this is just latent sexism but when taken all together it is evidence of larger sexism. I for one am not a baby incubator that is just laying in wait for it's chance to be useful. I am also not a domestic servant and chauffer to my husband and family. I do not need bouncy hair and a 18 inch waste to be a real woman. I want to see a real commercial with a man selling me on how much easier his life has been since Swiffer came into it, and tell me about how new Huggies have made his baby happier and more mobile. I also want to see men explaining to me (with white and brown faces) about their venereal diseases and about how they spread HPV and don't even know it, so its important for them to be tested. I want women to always be able to walk into a pharmacy and pick up their own fully covered entitlement to a happy healthy sex life. A lot of what politician like to sell us as moral issues all come back to this: Men (and I mean this is the broad general male as the other half of the species sort of way) are loosing their grip on women. We aren't going to but this crap much longer, so the only way to won us back into servitude is to tell us to live other wise is in-feminine and immoral and to try to brain wash us into buying the old shackles in new packages. I say women and men alike, do not be sold or fed, don't give up on all that was gained by letting people in government tell you the fight is over, when its not nearly half won.
Most of all keep affirmative action, since it pisses this system off something fierce, so it must be doing something to hurt them, and any injury on the male white power social system is good.
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| greeting internet people |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|10:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
This always happens when I meet some one new. You start out with good intentions, I will see my friends still, I'll call, I'll write. My new some one and I will not impede out priorly robust social lives. Now you flash forward to a week from then and you're hold up in your bedroom, who knows how long you've been there. Sure, I still go to work, and sure I don't shun my friends like leppers on the street, but somewhere along the way I was set adrift from the old activity level and into a balmly love haze sea.
But I do love you all! I still read your journals and I still wonder whats up and what you're doing and how you're doing. |
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| update |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|01:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | SOOO much love! | ] | All is well. Nothing to see here. I'm happier than a Maxium reader, chosen by lottery, to be Scarlett Johanson's Bra for a day. Yeah, I'm that happy.
Hey, what happened to two folks I know by the first initals of M & B? I left messages! I love you guys! Wanna do trivia on Monday? Hit me back!
Oh and for all of my (2) other friends on here {(you know how you are!)}, I love you oodles too. |
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| For any curious parties... |
[Jun. 28th, 2006|01:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | even the farette is happy. | ] |
The queen of slutty single-dom is no more. I cashed it all in for this really amazing man for whom I have all the affection in the world (which might answer a few questions if you have felt a drastic drop in the amount of affection in the world lately). If you were at the "America; Fuck Yeah!" shin-dig in Kat's honor he was the guy there with me all night. For some of you this is news, for the rest not so much, but it does save time just proclaiming it once. Anyway, I feel funny enough to just post personal sort of stuff, so this will have to surfice. If anyone wants gory details they'll have to buy me a drink just like everyone else.
(confidentially, I am so infinitely happy I have little words at my disposal to articulate it.)
That's it.
((Vince this was mostly for you, per cupid question.)) |
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| Hello Ann Arbor you lovely girl! |
[Jun. 12th, 2006|10:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Home is where my stuff is! | ] | How nice it is to be home! My goodness if Iowa isn't far away! Anyway It will be nice to get back into the swing of things. My Grandparents were quite happy with the whole affair and thats wonderful, since it was the whole point of things. Also I have escaped any hitting on by my family members, cousins or otherwise and that is the secondary point. However I did not escape the prying questions about my future nuptials (which I have no intentions of having). Its hard to tell Iowa women that you haven't the desire, aptitude of necessity of a husband. Its does not compute. But all that is behind me for I am home at last! |
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